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Separation Anxiety in Dogs: How to Create a Calming Space and Ease Their Stress

Getting a dog or puppy

If you've ever returned home to shredded furniture, complaints from neighbours about barking, or found your normally happy dog visibly stressed after you leave the house, you're not alone. Separation anxiety is incredibly common - and incredibly stressful - not just for dogs, but for us humans too.


You might feel trapped, frustrated, and unsure of how to help your dog feel secure. So let's break down what's happening, why it happens, and some real, practical ways to help your dog feel calmer and safer at home.

Understanding Separation Anxiety


First, let's quickly define what separation anxiety is and what it isn't.


Separation anxiety occurs when your dog becomes stressed or panicked when they're left alone or separated from you. It isn't just about boredom or mischief - it's genuine distress.


Common signs include:


  • Excessive barking, whining or howling when alone

  • Chewing or destructive behaviour (especially doors, window frames, furniture)

  • Toileting accidents inside the home (even if house-trained)

  • Pacing, drooling, or excessive panting

  • Desperate escape attempts that might even result in injury


Why Does Separation Anxiety Happen?


Dogs are naturally social animals who thrive on connection. Some dogs struggle more than others when separated from their humans. There are various reasons why separation anxiety develops, such as:


  • Life changes: Moving house, new family members, or sudden changes in routine.

  • Past trauma or rehoming: Dogs who’ve been rehomed or spent time in shelters often struggle with feeling abandoned.

  • Over-attachment or lack of independence: Dogs who haven't learned how to be alone from an early age can find separation especially tough.



Creating a Calming Space for Your Dog at Home


A huge part of reducing separation anxiety is helping your dog feel safe, comfortable, and calm even when you're not there.


1. Designate a Safe Area

Choose a quiet, cosy space in your home as your dog's safe zone. This could be a specific room or a cosy corner. Crates can also work wonderfully, as long as your dog sees it as their personal den (never as a punishment space!).


2. Make the Space Inviting

Fill their safe area with soft bedding, familiar smells (like your old T-shirt or a blanket with your scent), and a couple of their favourite toys. Comfort is everything.


3. Create a Calming Environment

Soft music, classical or specially composed "dog-calming" playlists can help ease anxiety. White noise machines or even calming dog-specific music (like Through a Dog’s Ear) can also be a game-changer.


4. Natural Remedies and Calming Tools

Consider using natural calming aids like lavender essential oil in a diffuser (make sure they're pure oils!), or flower essences.


You might also explore energetic healing modalities such as Reiki or kinesiology. These holistic practices can help balance your dog’s energy, soothe their anxiety, and support emotional wellbeing on a deeper level.


If you're curious about how energetic healing might help your pup, feel free to check out the personalised sessions I offer at Busy Pawz.


littermate syndrome


Practical Ways to Ease Separation Anxiety


Alongside a calming environment, you'll want to help your dog build confidence and independence gradually. Here’s how:


Slow and Gentle Desensitisation

Practice short separations where you leave the room briefly and return before your dog gets anxious. Slowly build up this time. You're helping them learn that you'll always come back.


Calm Goodbyes and Hellos

Keep your exits and arrivals low-key. Excited goodbyes or greetings can heighten anxiety. Calm and quiet interactions are best.


Positive Associations

Make your departures feel positive. Use a special treat, favourite toy or enrichment activity (like a stuffed Kong) that your dog only gets when you leave. This helps them associate your absence with good things.


Exercise and Mental Enrichment

Ensuring your dog gets some exercise and mental stimulation before you leave can help them relax. It’s not about wearing your dog out or exhausting them; instead, think of providing calm, structured activities like sniffing games, puzzle toys, or leisurely walks. A dog whose mind and body have been gently engaged feels naturally calmer and more content when left alone.



When to Ask for Help


Sometimes separation anxiety can be severe, and it’s okay to need extra support. If your dog seems extremely distressed or your home is becoming increasingly stressful, working with a professional dog trainer can make a huge difference.


And if you want to dive a little deeper into practical ways to help your dog, I’ve recorded a podcast episode that explores managing separation anxiety in more detail - with extra tips and gentle reassurance for worried dog parents.



Final Thoughts: You’re Not Alone, and It Can Get Better


Separation anxiety isn't an easy fix, but it absolutely can improve with patience, consistency, and understanding. Start small, create a calm home environment, and build your dog’s confidence step by step.


Most importantly, remember - this is something many dog owners face. You're not failing; you're learning alongside your dog.


Thanks for reading!


I hope this helps you find some peace of mind and clarity. You and your dog have got this and I'm always here if you need support.


Don’t forget to throw your dog a calming treat from all of us 🐶


Deb & the Busy Pawz Crew


P.S. Want more personalised help?

Book a one-on-one session to discuss your dog's separation anxiety and create a tailored training plan.





 
 
 

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