When Things Turn to Sh*t (Life with Reactive Dogs)
- Deb from Busy Pawz
- Aug 28
- 4 min read
Have you been feeling it lately?
The energy has been… weird. All over the place. So many people I’ve spoken to recently are feeling stuck, foggy, overwhelmed, or just flat-out done. For some, it’s hormones (or lack thereof - who even knows anymore 😅), for others it’s this lingering sense that things are harder than they should be.
And guess what? Many of our dogs are feeling it too.
When Life Feels Like Chaos
I’m not going to sugar-coat it - my dogs can be hard work at the best of times. Six dogs in one house is always going to be a challenge. But throw in past trauma, a few neurodiverse brains, unpredictable weather, and a good dose of unsettled energy? Some days it’s like living in another dimension.
Take Kenya, my stunning black kelpie. She’s 10 now and has always defaulted to “fight” when her nervous system is overwhelmed. We’ve worked so hard together, and for the most part, things have been calm. But lately? It’s like she’s going through doggy menopause. One moment she’s fine, and the next - boom. Rage.
And then there’s Kip. He has PTSD, he’s on the doggy spectrum, and although he’s made huge progress, there are still daily moments that would test even the most patient human.
Add in the four other dogs, each with their own special contribution to the chaos, and of course the humans (who, let’s be honest, are often more work than the dogs), and yeah - it’s a lot.
The Last Two Weeks
I came back from what was supposed to be a relaxing, rejuvenating break… sick and exhausted. And then got thrown straight back into the frying pan.
I’ve felt drained. Frustrated. Like I’ve taken 20 steps back, only to realise I need to take another 10. I’ve caught myself micromanaging the dogs just to get through the day without drama. And as a dog trainer, there’s that creeping feeling of… “Why is this happening? I should know better.”
But here’s the truth:
I do know better. And if Deb the dog trainer were giving advice to Deb the dog mum, she’d say this:
Take a breath. This isn’t failure. It’s a bump in the road. Go back to basics. Give yourself (and your dogs) space to reset. You’re not broken. You’re just tired.
What “Back to Basics” Looks Like
So, I’ve started following my own advice. Kenya now eats away from the other dogs - food is a big trigger for her. She’s also spending more time in her crate, especially when things get chaotic.
Kip goes into his safe space before the kids get home or we have visitors, because I know front door traffic can set him off. Charity, who gets overwhelmed easily, now has a calm morning ritual with me and my coffee - just the two of us. Rosie, my old girl, gets her secret cuddles before the rest of the house wakes up. And the two little scallywags? They’ve got a separate space to be their delightful weird selves without being herded, barked at, or trampled by Kip (who thinks they’re wind-up toys).
It’s not perfect. Sometimes it still feels like I’m failing - like I’m not doing enough, or someone’s missing out. But I remind myself: I know these dogs. Our relationships are strong. And supporting them doesn’t always look like the dream I have in my head.
A Little More Messy, A Lot More Real
Life is messy. And it’s probably meant to be.
Kip has changed the dynamic of our household and he’s taught all of us a lot (even if the rest of the family would totally deny it 😉).
So if you’re in a rough patch right now… if life with your dog feels like too much… I want you to know:
You’re not failing. You’re adapting.
Your dog isn’t broken. They’re just showing you what they need.
And if your dog’s behaviour feels like a lot - maybe it’s because everything feels like a lot right now.
Final Thoughts: When the Energy Feels Off
Sometimes the best thing we can do is take a step back. Not just from training, but from everything.
Our dogs mirror us. And with six of them, I feel like I’m living in one of those carnival mirror houses - every reflection showing me something different.
So here’s what I’m doing:
Simplifying the routines
Prioritising rest and safety
Releasing the guilt
Calming my own nervous system first
Because if I’m stressed and dysregulated, how can I expect them to feel calm and secure?
Take a Pause. Breathe. Reset.
You and your dog are learning together. It’s not always neat, and it’s definitely not always pretty. But there’s growth in the messy middle.
So today, take a moment to slow down - for them and for you. You’re not alone in this. And you're not getting it wrong.
Just take one small step back… and notice what shifts.
Thanks for reading!
And as always, throw your dog a treat from us!
Deb & the Busy Pawz Crew xo
P.S. Do you relate to this, but don’t know where to start?
If life with your dog feels like a lot right now, you’re not alone and there is a way forward.
My free guides Chaos to Calm and Beyond Behaviour are packed with practical strategies to help you bring more calm into your home, one simple step at a time.
No pressure. Just support that actually works.
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