Both Ends of the Lead Matter
- Deb from Busy Pawz
- Aug 19
- 4 min read
When you're living with a dog who needs a lot of support, it's very easy for your whole world to start revolving around them.
You think about their stress levels, their triggers, whether they've had enough sleep, what happened on the walk yesterday and whether today's walk will be any better. You change routines, avoid certain places, plan ahead for visitors and spend an enormous amount of time trying to make their world feel safer.
And somewhere in amongst all of that, there's another nervous system in the house that can get completely forgotten.
Yours.
Both ends of the lead matter.
Living with a high-needs dog can be incredibly rewarding, but it can also be exhausting. When you're constantly watching, managing and worrying about how your dog is coping, your own stress bucket can quietly start filling too.
Sometimes the best thing you can do is give yourself permission to walk away for a while. Make sure your dog is safe and settled, then do something that has absolutely nothing to do with dogs. Catch up with a friend, wander around the shops, get stuck into the garden, watch something completely mindless or simply enjoy not having to think about anyone else's needs for a little while.
That's not failing your dog and it's certainly not giving up on them. It's recognising that when you're stressed, frustrated or completely overwhelmed, you're probably not in the best place to help either of you.
Taking a break from your dog doesn't mean you're giving up on them.
We spend a lot of time talking about helping dogs regulate their nervous systems, but we need to pay attention to our own as well. What helps will look different for everyone. It might be meditation, some slow breathing, splashing cool water on your face in the morning, putting on some music, stretching or even just sitting quietly with a cuppa and a bikkie. It doesn't need to be complicated; it just needs to be something that helps your body and brain come down a notch.
It doesn't have to be complicated. The important thing is recognising what helps you come back to yourself.
I think this can be particularly difficult for women. So many of us have grown up with the idea that looking after everyone else comes first, and taking time for ourselves can feel selfish when there are people or animals relying on us. But looking after yourself isn't taking something away from them. You are part of the equation too, and the people and animals you love need you to have something left in the tank.
You can't keep pouring everything into your dog's stress bucket while ignoring your own.
Sometimes living with a high-needs dog can also stir up emotions or old patterns in us that we weren't expecting. Their anxiety might make us anxious. Their frustration might trigger ours. We can become so invested in helping them that their difficult days start to feel like our failures.
If you feel as though there's more going on for you than simply needing an afternoon off, getting some extra support can be really valuable. One thing I've personally found extremely valuable is kinesiology. There are many different approaches, so do a little research and find someone you really gel with.
For me, it's been another way of becoming curious about my own responses and some of the patterns sitting underneath them. It's not about replacing medical or psychological support when that's needed; it's simply another tool I've found useful.
There are also complementary approaches aimed specifically at animals. My friend Claire from Animal Energy Therapies specialises in Animal Kinesiology and describes her work as using kinesiology techniques to support the emotional and physical wellbeing of animals and their humans. If that's something you're curious about, I highly recommend having a look at her work.
I also recorded a podcast with Claire where we talked about kinesiology and her work with animals, so if you'd rather listen while you're walking the dog—or perhaps while you're deliberately not walking the dog for once 😂—you can find that here:
Sometimes what helps most is simply getting more insight into what's going on for your dog. If you'd like to explore that from a different angle, I also offer Animal Communication sessions, or you can have a pull of my Wisdom of Dogs Oracle Cards and see what comes up for you and your dog.
Neither is about replacing training, veterinary care or professional behavioural support. They're simply other ways of gaining a little more insight and looking at your relationship with your dog from a different perspective.
Sometimes helping your dog starts with looking after the person who loves them.
Your dog's wellbeing matters enormously, particularly when they're struggling. But yours doesn't matter less.
There will be days when your dog needs more from you, and there will also be days when you need to recognise that your own bucket is getting pretty full. Taking a break, asking for help or doing something purely for yourself isn't selfish. It's part of finding a balance that works for both of you.
And don't be afraid to try something different. It doesn't have to be kinesiology, meditation, animal communication or anything else I've mentioned here. Maybe it's something completely different that works for you. If it helps you feel better and brings a little more balance back into your life, then it matters.
When you're living with a challenging dog, it's very easy for their behaviour to become the focus of everything. and before you know it, you're spending more time worrying about your dog than actually enjoying them. Sometimes stepping away from all of that is exactly what you both need.
The reason we bring dogs into our lives isn't to spend every waking moment trying to fix them. It's to share our lives with them and enjoy having them in it..
There are two ends of that lead, and when all our attention goes to one, things can quickly become out of balance.
Thanks for reading, and as always, throw your dog a treat from us! 🐾
Deb & the Busy Pawz Crew xo
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